Nothing ever happens for nothing. If you did something, then at that particular moment of your life, at that particular stage of your development, there was meaning in that action. And if it seems to you that you could have acted differently, know this: you could not.
In general, this partly overlaps with what Dmitry Shamenkov talks about, and he speaks quite convincingly:
Dmitry Shamenkov's lecture at the XVII World Transpersonal Congress
So is it free will or determinism?